No topic ~

1 day have 24 hr. 1 week have 168 hrs. All the time of yours spend on your stuff and friends. How many hrs you spend on me in a week?

Why am i always ask for your time for me? When can i end all this rubbish problems?

I’m totally focus on the relationship when i have a bf. Are you the same? No……….. you are not only focus on me. You told me that you don’t want to be simple in your life. You want to do many stuff in your life. But what i do is only for our relationship. This doesn’t mean i’m lifeless. I’m just over serious in the relationship.

Did you really read my mind when you read my blog? Did you really think about it? 

I never dare to expect we will have good future. Never hope how long i can together with you. Not i don’t trust you.

I’m just tired …… very very tired…….

It’s my nightmare ~

That feeling is back to me again. That uneasy feeling…. I hope i can ignore and less care too much all the time. I don’t want to pretend like nothing happen. Don’t want “open one eye and close one eye”… All i want is a very very very normal and stable life. A very simple partner without anything but just me. I don’t need my partner to be famous, talented, active, and an outgoing person. But it’s totally terbalik and impossible. I need a trustworthy partner beside me forever. In people views is to do and try more things that never do or try b4 since you are young. Because you might not have the chance to do it when you are old. It’s true. I hope my love one can do everything he likes and never feel regret. But not doing it when together with me. Cause i just want my partner only focus on me more than everything. Due to my selfish attitude, i choose to leave him and let him do everything he likes cause i know myself cannot accept this kind of person. I choose to be alone better than argue with him. It’s not worth it to miss any chance outside cause of me. I admit i’m stubborn and keep think to negative side. Cause the scar in my heart is deep and still pain.

He really change alot better than last time. He treat me very good and pamper me. He is trying his best to gain back my confidence on him. I know he feel very guilty for the past. I very enjoy the happy and sweet time with him now. He never fight back when i argue with him. I very surprise cause he is not like that last time. But sometime make him hard to do between my family and his stuff. Especially my bad temper >.<… I scare he will hate me someday. We are really appreciate our relationship now.

I don’t want the past things happen again. I don’t want to endure the things i don’t wish to see again. I don’t want to cry very badly and suffer alone again. I don’t want to have nightmare and suddenly cry in the midnight while i’m sleeping again. I never have a good dream about us. I’m over protect my feeling after so many times. It’s too over already… i hold it too tight till i cannot breath… just don’t want to get hurt again… sigh…