Wednesday, October 28, 2009

A wish for him~

Everything was disappeared in a night. I still feel like having a bad dream now. Still don’t wish to wake up. Though i already accepted the fact. I won’t feel regret since i tried my best. But i’m still not good enough… I rather let people to use knife to stab me. At least i only feel pain on the wound but not pain in the heart.

I spent my 7 years time to love a guy. My 1st love… The one who went through so much things with me… Happy, sweet, sad, argue…. and many… He taught me a lot of things that i never learn and do in my life. Cause of him, my life become wonderful. It’s very hard to have a partner to accompany me to go through so much things in this 7 years. And it’s impossible to find another one to walk a long journey with me. Now, I have to walk alone in the future. I don’t want to walk with other guys… I just want to be with him but now i know it will never happen anymore. I will try my hard to go through everything…..alone…. Maybe everyone will think that i’m very stupid. But i like the way i am :)

I cannot see him anymore. Don’t know everything of him anymore. But i know he is enjoying his happy life now. So i also can fong sam already :) However, i wish him to stay healthy and happy always. Wish he can take good care of himself. Don’t know he still remember what i told him or not. Always sleep over 3am will die faster. This is true ! Hope he can try not to sleep late ler. I think Astro Battleground semi final is coming soon. Wish him good luck and try his best :) I only can curi curi concern and support him now. Though i know his things is none of my business already. Hope he won’t hate me for being stupid.

Tears drop again… sigh… stop writing ler…

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Final exam T_T ~

Today is my 1st time doing my final exam in UCSI. =.= Some people said very easy to pass but some said not that easy. Don’t know have to trust who @.@ But i only know KLIUC is very easy to score and pass. lolz.. Aiya~ I forgot to take down my picture. My 1st wearing to go for exam. haha… I wear long jean today. It’s weird… lol.. Very long time didn’t wear long jean already. Cause very hot and not suit me… =.= But still ok la… What cloth wear on leng lui also look leng lui wan la… kakaka xD

Today’s paper is quite…difficult… T_T I know i didn’t study harder. Always being lazy. My mid term of this subject got very low mark. Don’t want to tell how much. blek~ I think i’ve to pray from now. Hope i can pass all subjects. I don’t want to fail in this 1st time final exam in UCSI. T_T But i never fail in final before. The situation is different now. I’m not in KLIUC anymore. I’m in UCSI now. :(

Well, I was going to buy Waffle Chocolate Cake after finished my exam :D Really very delicious er ^^ Eat until very full. It’s only RM2.50 :) haha… Too bad i didn’t take the picture =.= I went into a Butik to shop a while. Saw a nice handbag and belt~ but i didn’t buy it =.=

My dear told me that he couldn’t accompany me in this week er… Thought of asking him for dinner tomorrow night… but he has to practise dance. Sigh… He said he is very tired and unhappy with something just now. But i still complained with him that he not able to come find me this week. hehe… Sorry dear~ Must get more rest and don’t too stress yourself oo :)

It’s 1.12am now. I think i have to sleep already. hehe… Before going to sleep, i want to show a lovely picture^^

PA171591

I love this picture so much~ We both looked sweet in this picture. haha…

okz… stop here lo~ Nite nite^^ Sweet dream~~

Thursday, October 15, 2009

No Mood & Hope ~

I still don’t have the mood to study for final exam… =.=

I’m half study and half blogging now… =.=

What i read really cannot absorb to my mind. =.=

I don’t understand what i’m reading now.

YEA ! I’m LAZY !

I just hope can faster holiday~ can find part time job~ Earn and save money~

Cause i really want to go travel with my bei next year~

I hope my dad will buy a car for me~ he suggested Viva~ New Proton Saga~ and Kancil………….=.=

Don’t want Kancil… I rather want a bicycle… Zzz…

A friend sent me a link just now. She taught me how to online shopping~

Too bad my hand feel itchy after saw the link..

Her fault~ :P Must ask her help me to buy :D

Bei’s sister just me a link too~ It’s a food blog~

She is going to eat Japanese Buffet tomorrow~

So envy…………..T_T

The foods seem so delicious in the pictures~ And the environment there nice too~

Only RM60 per person~

Sob sob…. I wanna go too :(

I like to read his sister blog~ Cause i love to eat too :D

Too bad i don’t have the chance to go and try :(

I rather spend money on food~ Not on clothes~ haha~

Sigh~

It’s not a time to dream now..

It’s time to study now…

Gambatte Bao Bao~

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T.T

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

One litre of tears ~

I thought everything will change back to normal as last time after back from genting.

I thought you really love me again after back from genting.

Thought you will treat me good as last time.

Thought you will appreciate me more after i together back with you.

Thought i can together with you happily. Forget and forgive everything you did to me and start a new life with you again.

You felt sorry to me but do nothing for me.

You said you love me so much but do nothing for me.

All the sweet words from your mouth but never take any action.

You gave me hope again and again but yourself destroy my hope to you again and again.

I trust you but you cheated me.

You always said break up to me. I tried my hard to regain this relationship everytime, noticed that i was failed, and decided to respect your decision to break up with you. I give up our relationship and stop bothering you anymore.

After i dropped my tears, heart was almost die and really made the decision, you ask me don’t go. Said that you wanna together with me.

You stabbed my heart suddenly and want back me suddenly. I know i’m very heart soft and be back with you. When together back with you, you told me don’t together with you or break up again.

In the movie, a girl cried for one litre of tears cause of her sickness. But i cried for one litre of tears cause of you.

Someone told me one thing, I felt it’s really true. “ When you know something is not work anymore, why still want to waste time on it? “ The person is telling me about a relationship. When you know the problems in this relationship will never be solve no matter how hard you tried, why don’t give up?

When i know my bf will never change his bad attitude, no matter how much i change for him but he still the same, our problems will never be solve. We will end up break up again.

为什么我这么犯贱?

I’m tired in this relationship. I have problem but couldn’t share with my love one. Since the day you told me you don’t love me anymore, my heart is already die. I still love you but no energy to do something to regain back our old sweet time, cannot force you to love me more again. You kissed me, hugged me was just want to try about your feeling to me, not love. You reminded yourself to miss me and remember me as your gf with writing some sweet words in msn personal message. That’s why i can knew it and feel it when i saw that. I still asked who you write about. Cause i don’t have the feeling that you are missing me. It’s too ridiculous that you said don’t love me anymore after we argued. You can say it out easily with your gf who together with you for 7 years. It’s damn hurt. You want to be together with me is just want me to give you do whatever you like, want me to accept your selfishness… Do all the things for your own only. If i don’t, you say break up with me. You said you can’t give me a stable relationship, can’t give me the things i want. yea… i know it. I know you won’t do something about it too. You didn’t even ask about me.

Why i cannot be selfish like you? Why am i always be heart soft? Why i still want to love you so much even you treat me like that? I really hope i’m the bad one. My heart is fragile, but you are making it to become stronger. Cry is doesn’t matter. But must back to happy mood after cry. You always thought i like to tell everyone about your bad. Tell me honestly if you really mind. But i didn’t tell anyone about you. I’m human, i need to express out my feeling, but only in emo blog……